Born Again!

It's funny how we plan our lives out, according to what we think is best. Then, things happen to make us realize that God has a plan for our lives and sometimes that plan looks nothing like what our own plan looked like! That's why I've learned it's best to just let God write the story! I never would've guessed a couple of years ago, that our family would be a part of such a wonderful church, a great group of people, and be able to witness such a special event.

Sunday, our bible study friend Amy was baptized. It was a beautiful thing to witness! I'm actually surprised that I didn't bawl my eyes out, but I think that was only because I was taking pictures and focusing on that. I found that my camera has this action setting that will take continuous photos in a row. It was the perfect setting for this, because it took so many shots close together and it's funny because if you view them really fast in a row, it looks like one of those flip books. Like a slow motion video. Ha!

This is only a few of the shots. It was just so neat to be a part of seeing Amy get baptized. I have to tell you that when I watched the video that Morgan took, I did cry! :D Just seeing these pictures makes me tear up.

They did the baptism in one of our member's pool.

It was so neat to have my girls be there and see that too. Our message at church earlier that day was about fellowship and how important that is to growing in our faith and living the lives that God has planned for us. It was such a great example of that, being at this baptism with all of our church friends, and sharing in such a special thing!

"You pulled me out of the mud up from the miry clay. You washed all my sins away. I've been redeemed. I am a new creation. I have been born again!" --Leeland, "New Creation"

P.S. It's so funny......Lily loves this Leeland song and she will tell me to put it on in the car. On the way to church, all of us were singing along to it. So fun!! Morgan just looks at us like we're crazy :D

Our Fun Weekend

We had a great weekend! Friday, we hosted our bible study group here at my house and that was fun.

Saturday, we went to Grandma's house and had hamburgers and went swimming. I didn't even take my camera because I just wanted to have fun with the girls. We got in the pool, then it started pouring down raining! So, we hopped out for awhile until it stopped, and then we got back in. The girls thought that was so funny. Lily is getting more used to the water and she let me take her out in it and help her float around. She even got on one of the floats they have. Zoey and her Daddy came too and we had lots of fun playing with her. She kept wanting me to pick her up, so that she could see this fake bird that my MIL has attached to her hanging ivy plant. Zoey would say "a-bir" and I would say, "Yes, a bird!" She's so adorable!

Saturday night, Morgan and I decided to just stay home and watch the UFC fight together. We were invited to watch it with friends, but we didn't really feel like going anywhere after being gone all day.

Sunday, we went to church (which was a great message!) and then Morgan worked around the house doing some things that needed to be done. The girls and I decided to make a trip to Barnes & Noble, one of our favorite things to do. They each found a book and then Madison found an American Girl magazine (I didn't even know there was such a thing) and Kaylee found a Barbie magazine.

I got 2 books. I'm almost finished with one of them.....it's so good. It's called "Untamed" by Lisa Harper. The cover says "How the wild side of Jesus frees us to live and love with abandon." I also got "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore.

After a week of rain and flooding, it was finally a bright and sunny day on Sunday! The girls had a hard time opening their eyes for a picture, it was so bright. Ha!
Then, last night, we went and watched the fireworks.
We had to wait around for them to start, and Kaylee was playing her DS and Madison was reading a book.
By the time they started, they were totally bored and I was taking a video of the fireworks and Morgan says, "We aren't going to come next year if y'all don't even want to watch them." And I started laughing, because we say that every year. I think I have the only kids who are not amazed in the least by fireworks. I think I love them more than they do! LOL!! Oh well! It was still a really fun weekend!

Today, we are just being lazy and staying around the house. Morgan is off and is mowing and stuff like that. I woke up this morning around 8:30 and I kept wondering why he hadn't left for work yet, and then I remembered that he had the day off. Ha! The good news is that if we don't sell our house, all of these little things that we've been needing to take care of (like touching up paint, etc) are pretty much all done now! And I learned that I CAN keep this house clean......it just takes a lot of effort!

Don't Do It....Cut it Out!

These guys are so hilarious!!! This video had me rolling......... :D

Every marriage bible study needs this video. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

And don't forget to spray Lysol........in the bathroom. Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It Was a Good Friday!

Today was a lazy day! I got woke up at 8:30 by Lily whispering that she needed something to drink :) Morgan was gone from 9am to 9pm at the church. They are still working as fast as they can to get the major things done by Sunday.......things like toilets, you know, the basics. Haha!!

I pretty much sat on the couch all day on the computer. My blog friend Stephanie posted a video that I loved and I found the youtube channel of Igniter Media and they had all these great videos that I loved watching. Here's a great one:



I was still in my PJ's at 5:30pm, when I got a Facebook message from our Pastor's wife saying she was going to the bible study tonight. I was like, what? I thought it had been cancelled, but it turns out all the ladies were meeting anyways. So, we got ready and went and had fun just eating and hanging out with the ladies. It was almost 10pm by the time we got home and Morgan was freaking out a bit because he had no clue where we were that late at night! I didn't call him because I didn't want to bother him.....I knew he was busy working.

So, that was my day. It WAS a good Friday! :D Earlier today, I was almost in tears reading the sweet comments left on here and facebook regarding it being my adoption day anniversary! I just look at my life and I know without a doubt that God exists and has been working in my life from day one! I think back to those days that I let the enemy almost convince me that He wasn't here and I thank Him for showing me over and over that He was and always will be!!

Softball Cutie!

Last night was Kaylee's first softball game. Her team color is grey this year.
I wanted to make her some bows, but had a hard time finding grey ribbon! I had to just work with what I could find. I got excited when I actually found a grey and black boa (or fluffy stuff as I like to call it).

She struck out her first time at bat and cried, of course. :(

Here's a cute video of her 2nd time to bat. She got a hit.......Yay!

When she was coming to home to score, the batter's ball landed right by home plate so they got her out. She cried again. Bless her heart......she's so sensitive, no matter how much we tell her it's okay and how proud we are of her and that those things just happen.
She was happy again after the game, when she saw her best friend (who's game was after hers) and got her snack/drink.
Because softball season is here, and Spring Break is coming up, our small group bible study has decided to take the month of March off. I am really bummed about that. Every week that we don't go to bible study, I can definitely tell a difference. Going to church for one hour a week is just not enough. I don't want to get to a point where I get used to placing everything else ahead of church again, because you miss a few days, and then before you know it, you're not going at all and making excuses for why everything else is more important. I think I will just see if I can find some online studies or a DVD study that we can do on our own.......anyone have a favorite one that you could recommend? Or favorite books even?

Updates and Other Rambling

I just got word on facebook that Parker is headed home! This is wonderful news, that I'm certain was made possible by everyone's prayers!

In other news, guess what I got in the mail yesterday? A copy of "What Difference Do It Make?", the follow-up book to "Same Kind of Different as Me", straight from Thomas Nelson Publishers...........all because they must have noticed that I have mentioned how much I LOVED the first book a time or ten. LOL! They offered to send it to me to read and review and I said I had already read it and written about it on here, but I would be glad to give away a copy of it, if they wanted to send it to me. How fun is that?! So, look for a giveaway on here in the near future!

Make sure you head over to Amy's blog and leave her a comment on this post. She is donating $1 per comment, up to $200, to the Haiti relief effort. She is celebrating her 200th post by doing this. That's awesome!

We have been doing our small group bible study on Fridays now. It's alot of fun, because we don't have to worry about rushing like we did when it was on a school night. We started a new study by Andy Stanley about creating margin in your life, like not having so much to do that you get stressed out and have no time for anything meaningful. I told everyone that I really think I've gone the opposite way, in that after Mom died, I started to think that if I did too much, life would pass me by too fast, so I decided that I wasn't going to do much of anything at all. Does that make any sense? Probably not, thus I'm working on it! Anyhow, we were sitting at the table eating dinner together, talking, and as our Pastor calls it "doing life together" and it's just almost unbelievable to me that one year ago, I would've never thought that would've been possible! I told them that they're super lucky I haven't brought my camera along for blog purposes. LOL! I don't think they really get the whole blog thing, but that's okay. I think my blog friends probably know me better than anyone ever will in real life, simply because I write what's on my heart and those who talk to me in person will never get that deep into what I feel just by talking to me.

We also had our monthly ladies get-together this past Monday and that was really fun. We ate dinner and then played Taboo, which was hilarious. We drew names to see whose house it would be at each month, and I got February. Since it's going to be at my house, there's no way they're getting out of taking pictures. :D We are trying to get a ladies bible study together too, probably every other week, so I'm looking forward to that.

Our music guy, Mark, is in our small group and he mentioned that we are doing some new songs tomorrow at church. Yay! I can't wait to see which ones we do. I am loving this practical atheist series too. So, I'll be back tomorrow with my weekly "what I learned at church" post.

Reading Frenzy

I have been reading like crazy around here. I love to read because I can't wait to see what I might learn from what I read. I guess that's why I rarely read fiction. I love to read true stories. I am passionate about what can be learned from other people's stories!

I finished up the "Advent Conspiracy" book after Christmas.

Next, I read "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan, which I talked about before.

The next book I read was "Unlikely Disciple" by Kevin Roose. He was an unbeliever from Brown University who decided to take a semester at Liberty University (the strict, conservative Christian college started by Jerry Falwell) undercover, and write a book about his experiences. I don't want to give away what happened, so I won't say any more, but it was an interesting book.

Then I read "Confessions of a Pastor" by Craig Groeschel. It was really good. It got me to thinking about how God doesn't want me to pretend to be someone I'm not. He has plans for me that He made for ME, not for the person I think I should pretend to be, no matter how inadequate I might think I am. He also talked about how "failure is an event, never a person" so we should take risks, because even if we fail, those things don't define who we are. This book really inspired me to stop thinking that I can't do certain things. He also talked about how the church does not exist for us......we are the church. When people say they don't want to serve, it is because they feel that the church is there to serve their needs, when they are supposed to be the church that goes out and serves the world's needs. It reminds me of how our Pastor said he wants our church to be one of "service", not "serve us".

The book I'm reading now is "Am I Good Enough" by Andy Stanley. I haven't gotten very far, but the point of the book is that you don't get to go to Heaven just because you're a good person.

Interestingly enough, Francis Chan, Craig Groeschel, and Andy Stanley were all Pastors in the One Prayer movement that our church participated in. If you all like my Pastor, you would love these guys too. Learning about God, in a biblically sound way, does not have to be boring. I used to think that church was so boring and irrelevant and the Bible was not something that human beings were capable of understanding. I have since learned that it is all about the way it is delivered. And I was amazed at what can be found in the Bible.......it's like my eyes were opened up and it began to make sense.

Tonight at bible study, we finished up the "Crazy Love" study. It was really a good one. I am feeling a little down though, because we talked about what we feel we need to accomplish while we are here on Earth, and I have no idea. I told everyone that I don't know what my purpose is. I don't feel like I have any specific gifts. I don't know what God has planned for me. I wish I was one of those people that just always knew what they needed to be. I have lived my life going from one challenge to the next (high school, college, marriage, babies) and it's like I have no idea what to do now. All I know is that I can't stop reading Christian books, worship music touches the very core of my soul, and I feel like I'm supposed to write something. I can't get enough of Christian lessons, like our church sermons and the things I learn from my books. I guess I have always loved being a student. I used to joke when I was in college that I could just be a professional student. I have always loved to learn. My motto in life has always been to never stop learning. It is exciting to know that there must be some reason for all of this. I can't wait to find out what God has in mind!

Our Christmas Celebrations in Pictures

I thought I would just share our pictures of the past few days with you all. There's alot of them!

Tuesday, we got together with our small group friends, and our Pastor's family came too, and we ate dinner and played Trivial Pursuit 90's Edition. Morgan and I stunk at it! LOL! But, it was fun. I wore my Christmas Leeland shirt that I got at the concert. Try not to be jealous. Hee hee!
Wednesday, we decorated cookies for Santa. The girls loved that!

Christmas Eve, we got ready and met our church family at another church for their Christmas Eve service. This church is about 35 minutes away and they are our sponsor church that has helped with our church plant. They had an enormous campus! It was a really nice service. The picture from the service is on my previous post. They also are participating in the advent conspiracy, so I thought that was neat!

I was so excited because right before we were about to leave, I decided to check and make sure there were no packages on the front porch, and when I opened the door, Veronica's package was there with the girls' hats inside! What an awesome Christmas Eve surprise!

We went out to eat with our church afterwards for Christmas Eve dinner. It was really nice and we had a great time! That's our Pastor and his wife, across from Madison. I love going to a small church where we can really get to know everyone. I thought to myself that traditionally, I have always spent Christmas Eve with my family........this year, God sent me a wonderful church family to spend it with. Never in a million years would I have imagined that! This year, I had the best Christmas, and I cannot thank the Lord enough for answering my prayers!

After we got home, we opened our presents with the girls and watched "Christmas Vacation." Here's Kaylee with her ornament that Veronica's girls sent her. They loved them!!

Here's Morgan with his present I got him. I knew he had wanted an electric guitar for a long time. He doesn't know how to play, but I bet it won't take long for him to learn. I asked our music guy, Mark, at church which one to get, and Lynnette's husband, Kyle, also helped me to make my final decision. Thank goodness for the expert advice because I didn't have a clue what to get!

Madison made us an ornament and this pretty coffee coaster for me :)

The girls had hot chocolate before bed.

The next morning, they were so excited to check their stockings to see what Santa brought. Santa was very good to them this year! I was also very excited because Morgan got me the new Barnes & Noble e-reader, the Nook. It is so neat! He was gone for like 4 hours Christmas Eve morning and I couldn't figure out what in the world he was doing. Turns out, he was waiting at the office for the UPS guy to deliver it. He ordered it a month ago, but it got backordered. He actually saw and went after the UPS guy at the convenient store down the road from his office and was able to get it off of his truck. LOL! That's love, right?! What a great husband I have!

After seeing what Santa brought, we went to my MIL's house to do presents with them and have our annual tradition of prime rib and baked potatoes. YUMMY!

Our annual family photo.

Love these pictures of Madison and Kaylee!

Morgan's brother, Brett, and his wife, Autumn.....and of course, Zoey! Her first Christmas! She is so precious!

Her expression cracks me up in this picture.

She liked my necklace. :)

Checking out the ornaments!

We just are so blessed. This really was the best Christmas that I think any of us has ever had! Hope yours was just as special!!

Things That Brighten my Day!

Becca, over at Made with Love, tagged me as one of the blogs that brighten her day!

The rules are that you are supposed to list 10 things that make you happy (and try to do one of those things today). I tag you all......this was a fun one and goes right along with reminding ourselves how much we have to be thankful for!

Well, there are so many things that brighten my day. In addition to reading all of your blogs, keeping up with facebook, watching The Young & the Restless, crafting, emails from my friends, and Starbucks coffee, here are 10 things that make me really happy too!!!
1. Music that is AWESOME! I love to sing, and I cannot live without my daily dose of worship music!! This is my favorite song off the new David Crowder Band CD.



2. Hearing the garage door open at the end of the day, because that means Morgan is home :)
3. Sharing my chair with my little buddy, Bella.
4. Spending the day with my best little friend, Lily. She keeps me laughing, that's for sure! Today, she told me I looked like a boy with lipstick on. That was because my hair was wrapped up in a towel and I was putting my makeup on. Then, when I took the towel off, she says, "Oh, now you look like a girl." Thanks, sweetie! :D

5. My sweet Kaylee, who tells me she loves me at least 5 times a day. I took this picture before school this morning. She has her backpack on, ready to go.

6. My fashionista, Madison. This was also this morning. She was modeling her new boots we got her this weekend. She is growing up, but is still my sweet and kind little girl.

7. God's love shown through answered prayers. Poor little Hannah was run over right in front of Morgan's eyes last night, and God answered his prayers with a miracle. No broken bones, no internal injuries. Both of her left paws are so sore she can barely walk on them, and her left hind quarter had to have stitches and a drain tube. Doesn't she look so pitiful with her giant cone? She's like, "Can someone please tell me what in the world this thing is on my head?!!"

8. Reading a great book! I LOVE to read mostly non-fiction. I love learning things from other people's stories. I love to read Christian books that teach me and inspire me to grow in my faith. I would much rather read a good book than watch TV. I get so excited when I read something that really speaks to me!

9. Going to church is something I really look forward to now every Sunday. I look forward to what songs we will sing and how God may speak to me through the message and what I will learn. I love hearing about what the girls learn. It's a great family day too. Just thinking about the fact that I have a church where I feel like I belong brightens my day!
10. I really love our small group/lifegroup too! We are becoming a family, and I look forward to our meetings every week. We eat together and then we do our bible study. The kids get to play upstairs while we do our thing downstairs and it works out great!

I could probably list a million things that brighten my day, but I think 10 was long enough! That was fun! Hope you join in too! And everyone........Have a great Thanksgiving!!!

Blessed: Needing Others

Today at church, we started a four week series called "Blessed."

The topic today was about how God has blessed us with a need: needing each other. Blessings aren't always tangible or material things. It is a blessing to acknowledge that you need God and others. If you are a believer, then you belong. "You are members of God's family.....We who believe are carefully joined together, becoming a holy temple for the Lord." Eph 2:19, 21

We have a desire to be in control and to be independent, but to be independent is to be non-Christian. God created us to be dependent on Him and His people. We need a spiritual family. That's why lifegroups (small groups) are so important, really much more important than that hour at church each week.

Now, this was funny how our Pastor explained how you know if your spiritual family is really close in the way that God intended for it to be. In Acts 2, it talks about what the first "church" looked like. They didn't meet in some building, sat in rows, and listened to a speaker. They shared life, they had everything in common, they met in their homes, ate together, and shared everything. That is the model we should follow for how we do life together as the church. So, our Pastor said, our spiritual family should have these two things:

Refrigerator Rights
They should be Barefoot Buddies

LOL! What in the world does that mean, you ask? Well, to be in community with your fellow believers, you have to take off your masks, be transparent, and be able to be like family around each other. Like when you go over to your family members house, you have refrigerator rights. You can walk right in the door, go straight to the fridge, grab yourself something to eat, and sit down and no one will think twice about that. That's how we should be able to act around our spiritual family too. But, how do we normally act? We invite them over, usher them to the formal living or dining room, and they have to ask permission to get something from the fridge. See the difference?

So, what are barefoot buddies? Well, it's the same concept. When you walk around your own house, you can walk around barefoot, because you're comfortable and you feel accepted around your own family. You aren't worried about what they think of you (or your feet). Ha!

The goal with our spiritual family is to be this close with them, to share everything, to do life together. When unbelievers see this kind of relationship, they realize it's unique and they won't be able to find it anywhere else. Once you get that kind of relationship, it fills that need that God has blessed us with. We need each other. We are to "accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." Rom 15:7 To live this way brings praise to God. In the natural, we don't want to let people in. We're afraid of not being accepted, because of past instances when we've been rejected. But, when we put up masks, even if people like us and accept us, they don't really like you because that's not you!

A spiritual family is made up of commitment + challenges + Christ. It takes commitment to live this way with your spiritual family. You will have challenges, but most of all you have to have Christ. Without Christ, your group is no more than a social group.

I thought today's message was so very important for me. At the end, our Pastor said that when you are trying to be independent, life is done alone and you are isolated and something is missing. He gave these scriptures: "But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" Ecc 4:10b and "It is not good for man to be alone." Gen 2:18 He said for us to please not come to church and then just go home. We have to be the church. We are to worship 24/7. One hour a week in church is not enough. We are to live and breathe the work of the church and be joined together in biblical community. We will never experience everything or have what we could've had, all by ourselves. When needy people come together, their needs are met. We are blessed with that need of biblical community.

That's exactly what I was doing for the past 5 years. I was trying to be independent, fix my own problems, and live alone. I had isolated myself so much that I became afraid of doing anything at all. And even after I started going to church, I was still afraid of getting close to people. I didn't think I needed that or had the time for it. Boy, was I wrong! I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be in our small group. It changed the entire way I looked at the church. It made me feel like I belonged. It is opening doors for us to serve and do things together that we wouldn't probably do on our own. I am amazed at how God has led me down this path. I am amazed at how I don't see church as a chore or a burden, but I actually look forward to seeing what songs we're going to sing and what message we're going to learn. I have gotten over the stress of meeting with our small group and now I love it.

I was telling Morgan just last night the very thing that our Pastor talked about today........if something were to happen in our lives before we became a part of our church, it would've been awful because we wouldn't have had anyone to be there for us spiritually. I know exactly what that's like. When my Mom died, we barely had any family. We certainly didn't have a church family. I planned my Mom's entire funeral on my own, with my Dad's help. There were no people who came over to cry with us, no one who made or brought us meals, no support. My Dad and I were completely alone. We had a few family members who came from out of town to her funeral, but if it hadn't been for my MIL buying us food, there would've been nothing to eat afterwards. Sure, we had friends and family who came to the funeral, but no one to just sit with us before or after to offer that kind of support that you so desperately need during that kind of tragedy. We did it completely alone and I don't ever want to be in that position ever again. I cannot tell you what a blessing it is to have a church family that I know would be there for us if anything like that were to happen again. I lived in fear for so many years after my Mom's death of simply living again, because I never wanted to go through that feeling of being alone again. Now, I know that I don't have to.

So yes, I completely understand now what our Pastor was trying to teach us today. It is a very special blessing that God has created us to need others. He never intended for us to live our lives alone and that fellowship that you get from other believers really is so priceless. It's one of the greatest blessings of this past year, that God not only brought me so many wonderful blogging friends who I can share my deepest thoughts with, but He also helped me find a church and a wonderful group of friends that I can share my "real life" with. It is so nice to feel accepted and to know that I can just be me. It opens the door for me to really live God's purpose and plan for my life, and I am so excited to see where He takes me!

Holding on for Dear Life!

Last night, at our lifegroup, we started Francis Chan's "Crazy Love" small group study. We did chapters 1 and 2 last night. Our first thing to think about was how would we react if suddenly, we were standing before God's throne. The idea was that most of us don't really think of how absolutely magnificent God is. When we pray, do we really think about who we are praying to or do we just pray the same routine prayer. Do we really comprehend the holiness of God and how would we really act if we were before Him?
The second thing we left off with thinking about was what would we immediately regret not doing if we were before Him? If you suddenly found yourself before God, what would you be embarrassed that you didn't take time to do? We each answered this question and we are going to hold each other accountable for doing those things that we know we should be doing so that we don't have regrets should we suddenly be standing before Him. Some of the others in the group said they wanted to read their bible more, make time to pray more, not find ways to get out of going to church, try to pay more attention to the message at church. My answer was that I wanted to read and learn more about the bible, the history behind it. but most importantly, I know exactly what area I need to work on:
The area of fear. I found the video above by Francis Chan this morning and I had to laugh because that is SO me! I am holding on to that balance beam for dear life! I told everyone at group about my fear and anxiety issues since Mom died, about how to even come to group was a huge deal for me. That kind of fear does not come from God and to have that means that I am not trusting Him to be in control of my life. I am trying to control my own life by myself. And if I were before God, I am thinking He might just ask me, "Why didn't you just trust me? Why did you try to do it alone? Didn't you know I would be there for you? Didn't you know I already had it all planned out?" Every time I make the decision not to go somewhere or not to do something for fear of my anxiety, I am making the decision to not trust Him to take care of me. So, that is what I am going to work on!
Poor little Lily has had an upset tummy ever since that fever the other day, so I guess she caught some kind of stomach bug. I haven't taken her to the Dr. because she's eating, drinking, and acting normal, but I'm really hoping she'll be better soon.
I hope everyone is having a great weekend so far!!!

Call me Crazy!

Do you ever have one of those days where something is just weighing heavily on your heart, you can't get it out of your mind, and you feel like you're going crazy with all the thoughts swirling around in your head?

I suggested to my small group that we look into getting Francis Chan's "Crazy Love" small group study to start next, and I am very excited that we are going to do it! I love his book, because it really challenges you to think about how you are living your life as a Christian. However, after picking it back up again this week to read through it, I remembered how stressed it made me the last time I read it.......especially the chapter that asks you to take a good hard look at yourself to see if you are a lukewarm Christian.

I read the bullet points on being a lukewarm Christian and I am disgusted with myself for not doing enough, for not being enough. I don't want to just call myself a Christian. I want to be radical. I want to be crazy. Anything less is just not enough. Yet, what have I done thus far? Nothing, really. I preach to the choir on my little blog and post some things to think about on facebook every now and then, which I'm convinced has people going, "what is up with her?" I go to church and bible study. Big deal. I want to make a difference in this world, not just live my life and hope someone along the way is positively influenced by it.

Now, do you think this is what the Lord is telling me or what the enemy wants me to believe? The last time I got down on myself about not doing enough, the Lord literally spoke to me. Not through someone's blog or through a quote in a book. He literally interrupted my negative conversation that I was having with myself about how horrible of a Christian I was, and said "Your Mom is proud of you. I'M proud of you." So, that leads me to believe that the enemy would love nothing better than for me to give up and believe there's no point because I am just not good enough.

But, instead of remembering this and stepping back and calming down, I continued today to allow the enemy's lies to make me feel like maybe I'm just a phony. Maybe I just like talking about how much I love Jesus, but maybe I really don't know Him. Maybe I'm not even saved. Maybe I'll have a devestating surprise waiting for me when I die, and the Lord will say that I only said "Lord, Lord" but didn't truly know Him. Oh my goodness.......even typing this out, I can see how absolutely ludicrous these lies are! The Lord Himself told me how proud He was of me! He shows me daily in a million different ways that He loves me. I can only imagine how much it hurts Him that I allow these thoughts to even enter my mind.

I can only describe this as a type of warfare. The enemy will always attack when he knows something wonderful is happening for God's kingdom. I have been praying that He will not allow these thoughts to even enter my mind.

Then tonight, I was led to a blog that had a post that spoke to me on this subject. He said that it would be arrogant to think that God needs him, yet foolish to think that God won't use him. That was exactly what I needed to hear! He said, "we aren't needed by the God of the universe. However, we ARE His plan to change the world. Figure that one out..........."

How arrogant of me to think God would "need" me to do anything! But, how AWESOME to realize that He already has in mind the exact way He can and will use me in His plan to change the world!! He placed me where I am, so that I would seek Him. It is only because of Him that I will even draw my next breath. So, I was reminded that I don't have to figure out a way to save and conquer the world...........the Lord already has it all figured out and He will use me for His purpose. My job is to be obedient.

I guess the lukewarm part comes when the Lord tries to use you, or He puts you in a situation to serve or give, and you flat out tell him "No." If I am comfortable, enjoying my riches (because everyone in America pretty much is rich by the world's standards), caring more about what others think of me than God, constantly putting worldly things above Him, then I am lukewarm. I have lots of places where I most definitely am not trusting the Lord as I should. The fact that I have structured my life so that I really don't have to have faith in Him is something that I need to work on. But, I am glad that this is something that He is showing me and that He is urging me to grow in.

I don't want to do things for Him so that people will go, "Oh, how nice or how kind." I want to do these things simply because I believe it's what He has called us to do as Christians. I don't want to be one of those people who goes to church because I like my little church clique and it's fun to hang out with them. I want to go to church and be a part of something that welcomes other people just like me. I want to be the love that Jesus wants me to be to others. I want to be used to show the unlovable that Jesus loves them and always has. I want to be crazy in love with Him and I want that to ooze from every fiber of my being. I want it to permeate every single decision I make. I want to be obsessed with doing what He has called me to do. I want others to know Him and be transformed by His love. It's not about what I can do on my own, it's about what He can do through me if I choose to obey.

I am SO excited about my life!

Random Ramblings

Random thoughts of the day:

1. Madison and Kaylee were looking adorable this morning in their costumes! Madison was Cleopatra and Kaylee was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Have I mentioned lately that I adore these girls?!! They are so precious, inside and out!

2. My doctor told me that the pathology report came back fine for the mole I had removed. I'm very thankful for that!

3. My friend's Mom that has breast cancer that I asked y'all to pray for.......they found out it has not spread, so that's really good news! She will have a masectomy and other treatments to get rid of all of the cancer. The prognosis looks great! Thank you for praying!!!

4. I just finished reading Rebecca St. James' book, "Loved". It was really good. It was more like a compilation of short stories of women who had wandered away from the Lord and found their way back. It was full of hope, that no matter what you've done, the Lord is always waiting for you to come back to Him with open arms.

5. That brings me to a quote I loved. I picked up my "Heaven" book, by Randy Alcorn, again yesterday. I had read some of it, but never finished. It's a great book. A great quote was, "You may think that you don't deserve forgiveness after all you've done. That's exactly right. No one deserves forgiveness. If we deserved it, we wouldn't need it. That's the point of grace. On the cross, Jesus experienced the hell we deserve, so that for eternity we can experience the Heaven we don't deserve." One of the biggest lies that Satan has convinced everyone of is that you are "good enough" to get into Heaven on your own, that you don't need a savior. Our default destination is hell and the Bible states that the only way to enter into Heaven is through Jesus. There is no other way. Our society is all about new age thinking these days, and thinking that no matter what you believe, all roads lead to God. They say it's ridiculous for Christians to say that their way is the only way. Well, we don't say it is, the Bible says it is! The Bible is God's word and it specifically says that Jesus is the ONLY way. Period.

A lot of people simply do not know what the Bible says. I didn't really understand it all and I hadn't spent any time trying to understand it. What I've discovered though, is that it's so simple. It's clearly written out in the Bible. I think alot of times we just think that people know the truth and just don't want to accept it, but I really believe that most people just simply do not know what the Gospel says. The scariest thing to me is when Oprah herself, being in the position she is (idolized by millions of women as being the authority on all subjects), gets on TV and states that Jesus couldn't possibly be the only way to God. Oprah is preaching that God is not something to believe in, He is a "feeling". This is absolutely incredible and scary, because so many people who do not know what the Bible says will believe this type of teaching because it makes you "feel" all warm and fuzzy inside. That is exactly what the enemy's plan is, to convince people that they don't have to follow God's word (the Bible), but instead that it's okay to follow false teachers. It's the easiest way for Him to turn people away from God, to convince them that they can save themselves.

Then the question for alot of people is, well how do I know the Bible is true? How do I know it's not just a work of literature? Well, I went looking for proof and found there are lots of books on this subject that prove the Bible's historical validity, that the characters were real people. I have heard Atheists claim that there is no proof that Jesus was even a real man or that He did the things he claimed. That is just not true. There are historical records proving He existed and hundreds of eyewitness accounts that He appeared after his death. It's just absolutely not true that there is no proof for the Bible. And, if you believe the Bible is true, then you must believe God's instructions that He gives in it. It's a huge relief when you realize that you don't have to guess about what to believe, because the answers are all right there in the Bible.

I guess I should've done a whole post on this topic! LOL! I guess the point is that if you don't believe, take the time to check out the facts and it will be very clear what the answer is. Most people will never get that far though, and will get sidetracked along the way into thinking that it's okay not to follow Jesus. That is what our mission as Christians has to be.........to help people search for the truth. It's not about a religion, it's about helping people to understand the choice they are making because we care about their eternity. It's like us having the cure to cancer and choosing not to share it with people. That would be absurd!

6. I really don't like to preach on my blog, but this is my blog, and I can say what is on my mind, right? I think so many people view Christians who want to share their faith as trying to cast some kind of spell over them. That's just not true. I want people to know that Christianity is not based on feelings, it's based on the truth of God's word in the Bible. Faith comes in because you are believing in things that are unseen. I just want to help people understand the choice that they have made because I truly do not want for anyone to enter Hell and be crying and asking why I did not tell them the truth when I knew it all along. The problem is that I have no idea how to walk that fine line between lovingly showing people where to find the answers or coming across as a fanatical Christian that people steer clear of, or when I mention God, they put their fingers in their ears and go "la, la, la, la, la."

7. I told you these were going to be random thoughts! Is everyone ready for the weekend? We have a Fall Fest to go to tomorrow that our school district organizes to raise money. The girls love it because they have all kinds of games, a petting zoo, moonwalks, etc. Our church is having a booth and giving away free cotton candy all day too, so we're going to help with that. Then, we're just going trick-or-treat with our neighbors on our street. We're starting a marriage series at church on Sunday, so that should be good too since we just wrapped up our small group study on that subject.

Okay, I'll stop rambling now! Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

Love is the Difference

Oh my goodness! I am so excited!!!!

I was just googling "Same Kind of Different as Me" so I could find a picture to put on this post about how I just finished the 2nd book, "What Difference Do it Make?" and guess what I saw???

They are making a movie about the book and Samuel L. Jackson is set to star in it!!!!

This is going to be the best movie ever!!!! I can't wait!

I loved the follow-up book that I just finished. It has so many awesome quotes in it and the whole point of these books is that one person really can make a difference and that sometimes, the most unlikely person in the world can be used by God to change people's lives! It's like a ripple effect......one person takes time to just love another, and that changes that person's life, who in turn ministers to others, and before you know it, thousands of lives have been changed simply because one person loved. I think that is definitely why Jesus said the most important thing we can do is love others as He loved us. Love is such a powerful thing.

These books have taught me SO much. One time, I had just spent hours reading a blog about all of the millions of orphans in Africa and my mind was going 90 miles an hour, trying to think of what I could possibly do to make a difference. The thought of all those precious babies being without parents brought me to tears. I mean, think about it.........I am 33 years old and I struggle with one of my parents not being here. I cannot imagine being a child with no parents to be loved by. So, anyhow, it was super late and I was walking to my closet so that I could get ready for bed and all of a sudden I hear this thought in my head........."It was never about the money." Yeah, yeah........I know, Kristin's crazy and all, but I promise you I'm not. I have found that if you take the time to get to know the Lord, He will take the time to answer you.

So, why did the Lord tell me that? I believe He was just trying to tell me that I don't have to have lots of money to make a difference! That idea was definitely reinforced in the message of these books. Yes, money does help, but love is the key to making a real difference in the lives of others. One of the most powerful parts of the book was when Denver said:

"If all the Christians - I mean all of 'em - got outta the pews on Sundays and into the streets, we'd shut the city down.

We'd shut down hunger.

We'd shut down loneliness.

We'd shut down the notion that there is any such of a thing as a person that don't deserve a kind word and a second chance."

Isn't that the truth! We all want to go to church and sing songs and read a few bible verses and believe that that is serving God. But most of us don't really want to go out and serve, because that might be uncomfortable. That might take time or make us get dirty. Denver talks about how many people used to come give him flyers to invite him to church when he was homeless, without thinking about the fact that he couldn't even read and what was he going to do with all his stuff? He sure wasn't going to leave it out there to be split amongst all the other homeless. He says, "See, we don't need to be tryin' to drag the homeless, or any kinda needy people, to "programs," to "services." What people needs is people." And we don't have to be perfect to go out as disciples and serve others. My most favorite quote of all?........"Jesus don't need no help from no perfect saints. If He did, He wouldn't a' gone up yonder and left us down here in charge."

Amen to that!!!!!!

Last night, we went to our Lifegroup (bible study). We are still talking about staying in love. Last night we were talking about how Jesus did not walk into a room and go, "Yeah, I'm Jesus and I'll take that table and here's what you can fix me to eat, blah blah blah." He never used who He was as leverage in relationships. In order to stay in love, we have to quit using different things as leverage to get what we want. We have to place ourselves beneath our spouse and serve them in order to stay in love. We have to be in awe of our spouse, just as we might be in awe of a famous person........giving them all of our attention. It was all from the book of Phillipians, Chapter 2. We had a great time and are really getting alot out of this group. It was really awesome, when I walked in and saw this:

Isn't she the sweetest, most precious thing you've ever seen? I told her Mommy that she will have to be my new model for Summer Suzette Couture. =)

Love is a Verb

I took this picture of Bella the other day. She always sits beside me when I'm using my laptop. Don't you love all the toys on the floor in the background? That's pretty much our constant living room decor.

We started our small group discussion last night on "Staying in Love". We had a video from Andy Stanley that was done for small group discussions. It is broken up into 4 week parts and after each part, it asks different questions for us to think about and answer.

Last night's point was that love is not a noun, it is a verb, so if you want to stay in love, you have to do things to love your spouse. Pretty simple, huh? It's not about how you feel, it's about both of you making each other first and doing things out of love for one another.

It was fun and funny to hear some thoughts on relationships from the other couples. I have a feeling I'm probably going to get on their nerves after awhile, because I barely said a word! I feel very fortunate that my parents were married for 36 years and that I did not live in a dysfunctional environment. Our first question was, who was the first person you fell in love with and why? Well, Morgan and I both said each other. We have been together since I was a freshman in college, in 1994. That's almost half of my life! I certainly wouldn't say that I was in love with my high school boyfriends!

Somehow, we ended up talking about making the bed. One of the men said that his wife gets mad at him if he doesn't make the bed and that one time when he was mad at her, he only made his side of the bed. I thought that was hilarious! Then, they asked us what we thought on the subject and we're like, um, yeah, we don't make our bed! LOL! I don't get what the point is, but that's just me.

There are so many things that I have learned to let go of, after being married and having kids. I used to be so crazy about how things had to be in their place and I would get stressed and aggravated if Morgan left things out, but I really have learned to just let it go. I remember back to growing up and I realized that my Mom didn't keep our house perfect, and there is some wisdom that she shared with me that I will never forget. She said that you don't want to keep your house so perfect that it doesn't feel lived in, where people come over and are afraid to touch anything as if it's a museum. Your house is supposed to be your home and you want it to be warm and feel lived in and for people to feel comfortable. I totally agree with her on that!

I suppose some could argue that I've become a little too relaxed, but I've decided that just because I stay home, does not mean I want my job title to be "cleaning lady 24/7". Sure, I dust and vacuum and keep the bathrooms clean and do the dishes and laundry, but at any given time, you will see laundry that needs to be put up, some dishes in the sink, toys on the floor and I'm perfectly fine with that. When I worked full time, things were easier because there wasn't always people home to mess everything up. I just don't want to spend hours every day making this house look perfect when it's just going to end up looking the same exact way by the next morning. Does anyone else feel this way? LOL!

I got off on a tangent there, but the small group does seem like it will be fun.

Currently, I'm reading the follow-up book to "Same Kind of Different as Me" and it's called "What Difference Do it Make?" I cannot say enough about the first book. It's one of those books that if I had the money, I would buy a copy for every one of you and make sure that you read it! It has changed my perspective on so many things, especially the way I view the homeless and the fact that one person really can make a difference!

Things on my Mind

Yesterday, I heard about Sara's story. I knew that her situation was "very grave", but I had faith and believed with all of my heart that God could and would heal her. I prayed all day for that. Still, I know that my plans are not always in line with the will of God. It's so hard to understand why these things happen. I was so sad to hear about her passing. Even while waiting at dance last night, I prayed. I believed I would come home and read the news that she was getting better. I wanted that for her family so much.

Yesterday,while waiting in line at school to pick up the girls, I thought of Sara and I just rejoiced. I rejoiced for my life! We have been talking about having only one month to live at church, so it's been on my mind, but when you hear about the death of someone way too young, it just reminds you that tomorrow is never guaranteed. Today, this day, is my life. I know what it's like to have someone you love be just fine one day and then the next day, they are lying unconscious, on life support, and given no hope. Life can be taken from us just that quickly.

The only thing I keep thinking is, what about those people that don't know Jesus? What can I do to convince them that they cannot wait until tomorrow to make the decision to follow Him? People that don't know Jesus don't want to hear about what He's done in my life. They simply don't want to hear it. I know people that no longer read my blog and I believe it is because I talk about Jesus on it. I feel like I walk a fine line on what I write about, because I know if I share too much, I will be tuned out because "there she goes again with her religious talk", but it is so hard to keep quiet when so many wonderful things are happening every day, and they have nothing to do with religion.

I hear people say all the time that you cannot preach to others. You have to show them Jesus' love by showing them what He has done for you. Once they see that, they will want to know Him too. I just can't help but feel that I'm not doing enough though.

Why are people SO afraid to love the Lord these days? Why can't I simply share my love for the Lord without feeling like I'll be judged as a crazy person.......people asking what's up with me because I'm all 'religious' now?

I think too many people today just assume that everyone who is a good person is going to Heaven. Just about everyone thinks they are going to Heaven these days. I love Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort's Living Waters ministry, where they walk around and ask people if they are a good person. Have y'all ever seen those? You should see some of the hateful comments they get on their youtube videos....simply because they get people to confront the fact that they aren't as good as they think they are. Here's one of their videos:

Well, those are just some of the things that have been on my mind lately.

In other news, I ate breakfast with Kaylee this morning at school and then we went to her book fair, which was fun. It was nice to see everyone gathered around the flagpole this morning in prayer too. Tonight, we have our lifegroup meeting, so that should be fun! Hope everyone is having a great day so far!!

An Etsy Shop, Lifegroups, and an Aha Moment!

I mentioned my friend Amy the other day, from Filled with Praise, and that they are raising money to bring home Elijah from Ethiopia. 

Here are some of the new Christmas ornaments they are selling, if you know anyone that has adopted from Africa.  Aren't they so beautiful?!!

They also have a really cute Etsy shop now, with baby burp cloths and some beautiful fall floral arrangements.  Go check it out by clicking on this link:

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=8030999

Here is her blog link, where you will find all of the information in greater detail :)

Remember that when you buy something from them, you are helping to shape this precious little boy's future!

Last night, we had fun at our lifegroup (small group Bible study).  It was us and 2 other couples.  We ate when we got there and then sent the kids upstairs to play.  We had bible study materials and a video on the same series that we're starting at church on Sunday, called "One Month to Live."  We were just talking about how that would change the way you live your life, if you found out you only had one month to live.  Everyone decided though, after watching the long video on this study, that we will pick a different topic to study.  We're already doing this topic at church, and so next week we are going to play some games to get to know each other better, and then start a new series the following week.  One of the couples that was there, just had a new baby Isabella, and that is who I gave the onesie to that I posted yesterday.

So, last night we were telling each other what we would do if we had only one month to live.  I said that I would probably just be so sad, knowing that I would have to leave my girls, and would probably cry alot.  Real uplifting, huh? It's the truth though!  I guess I have a different perspective, because I actually do think about death alot.  I would not be worried for myself, because I know exactly where I'm going when I die, but I would be worried for my girls, because I know how incredibly hard it is to live without a Mom.  I would probably spend lots of time writing things for them and maybe even doing lots of videos, and of course, trying to create fun memories for them to remember before my time was up!  I thought about this more, after I got home, and I honestly think I would also use that time to go out and tell people about the Lord because I know that just the fact that I was dying would really get their attention.  It would be my hope that I could convince lots of people to give Him a try!  That's what I would love for my legacy to be........that others would come to know Him because of my testimony.  Not for my sake, but for theirs!!

My first instinct yesterday, was to talk about how sad I would be to be leaving my girls behind without a Mom, but actually I've been thinking lately something that I think the Lord is trying to show me.  If something were to happen to me, and the girls were placed in the position of having to grow up without me, as hard as that would be on them, I know that it was always the Lord's plan for their life.  He knew before they were even conceived exactly how long they would have me, and if He chooses to have them grow up without me, then obviously there is a very specific reason for that.  Who knows how that would change their lives, how many people they may influence because of their story, etc. 

Something else I've been thinking about lately is this........I have spent much of the last 5 years thinking that I could not survive or be happy without my Mom here.  I kept thinking that she's not here to talk to, she's not here to make things better, she's not here for me to rely on for advice, she's not here to be my friend anymore, she's not here to help me raise my family, she's not here to

SAVE ME

and then I said to myself, "Wait a minute!  Don't I already have a savior?  Um, yes I do!!!!"  I think that's a huge, major lesson that the Lord has shown me this week.  He did not place my Mom on this earth to be my savior.  I was not meant to worship and idolize her and I'm sure it hurt His feelings that I kind of forgot along the way that He WAS put on this earth to be my savior!  I am meant to worship and idolize him and if I let Him, He will be all those things that I felt I was missing by my Mom not being here with me.  He is always here for me to talk to, to make things better, to give me advice, to be my friend, to help me raise my family, and most of all........He died and became my savior so that I would not perish, but have everlasting life with Him (and my Mom)!!  Oh my goodness, how I love these "moments" when He teaches me these things!

I'm Making Progress

Today, I decided to work on a new onesie design that I had in my head, and I think this one's a keeper.  I really like the way it turned out, but I would like to know what you think!  Would you buy one like this?  Be brutally honest, because I really need to know what potential customers would like to see in my boutique!  It will not hurt my feelings to hear constructive criticism and you're all my dearest friends, so be honest! :)

I also took this photo outside and the only thing I did was crop it.  I think the color turned out pretty good, considering I didn't edit it at all.  Yes, taking pics outside is definitely the way to go for the true colors to show, which is very important for my business!

I still need something new to put my shirts on.  That old metal cross just isn't working for me.  LOL!  I bought this really cute, hot pink sparkly metal mannequin thing and it turns out it was just too big for these tiny onesies :(  So, any thoughts on this?  Should I just find a place to hang the shirts up outside for a cute photo or should I try to find some type of form/mannequin to put them on?  Does it even matter? 

You'd think I'd have these things figured out already.  Ha!!

Well, I better get ready for my first small group/bible study!  Hooray!  As much as I would love to take lots of photos for blog post reasons, I think I'll leave my camera at home so they don't think I'm completely weird!  LOL!  I'll be back to let you know how it went!

P.S.  Did y'all update your post editor yet?  This is my first post with the new editor and I like it so far.  I'll have to play around and see what all it does when I have more time.  Just go into your settings and you'll see an option to click for the updated editor.

A Year Later

Today marks one year since the direct hit of Hurricane Ike on our part of Texas.

I can't even tell you what it's like to feel so helpless in a situation like that. Do you stay or leave? When do you leave? What if there's no gas to get out of town? What if traffic is so bad that you literally can't get out of town? What do you take with you? What if you have no home to come back to? It was so scary!

Thankfully, we did have a home to come back to. It was so weird though, to come back and the entire City of Houston had 100% power outage for over a week. Some areas for several weeks. It is very weird to have to live on the supplies that you have in your home and to know that when you run out, that's it. There are no stores to get food or supplies at. And if you are on a water well like our neighborhood, you have no running water without power. You just don't realize all of the ammenities you have until you no longer have them.

Thank goodness my MIL is the prepared one! She had plenty of food. They have gas so we were able to cook and they had generators so that we were able to have some power. They were also on City water, so they had water. We stayed with them for 8 days because we had nothing at our house (no power, water, supplies).

It was a day by day thing, waiting to see if the power company would make it out to your area. There were so many power lines down all over Houston. Can you imagine the amount of crews it took to repair all of those lines? They brought in people from all over the US to help out and they worked around the clock. They were definitely the heroes after the hurricane! (I should probably remind you that in our area, during this time of year, temps are in the 90's!)

As we waited for power to come back on, we celebrated our wedding Anniversary. Outback Steakhouse had power, so we at least got to go out to eat. We will be celebrating our 10 year Anniversary on the 18th!

In other news, this time also marks the One Year Anniversary of my church, Lifepoint. I was not attending in the beginning, but today (yes I went to church today!) our Pastor talked about how they had their first service on 9/7 and then came the Hurricane! Talk about Satan doing everything he could to try and stop a good thing! It took a couple of months before they were able to have another service. Our Pastor reflected today on the past year and how sometimes, no matter how much time we spend planning and preparing, things don't always turn out exactly how we expected them to look like. Obedience doesn't always mean easy times. Obedience is not a transaction with God, where we will be rewarded if we are obedient. It doesn't always work that way, so we have to ask ourselves the reason "why" we should be obedient.

We talked today about moving forward with our church and what it will take to get to the next step. By nature, most of us are rebels. We have to find the "why" behind the obedience. Our Pastor said we have to become "missional", where we do certain things intentionally. We have to make a choice to do things to be obedient. This message was so perfect for me this week, as I was rebelling against the uncomfortable situation of going to Lifegroups. It's scary, it's hard, but I have to be intentional, even if it's uncomfortable, to participate in Lifegroups. In the natural, our unintentional actions are always self-serving. If we aren't intentional in our actions, alot of times we will continue to do only the things that serve ourselves.

Jesus used 12 unlikely men to change the world. He sat them down for the Last Supper, knowing how significant and meaningful it would later become. Today, as we had the Lord's Supper at church, we were told the "why" behind obedience. Jesus is the WHY!!!! Because He gave His life for us, we will be obedient to Him! It was so moving, so emotional, and exactly what I needed to get over myself and remember why I am going to church!

Also, thank you to those of you who prayed for my situation with the small groups meeting (Lifegroups), because the group that originally invited us to join their group has offered to move the group to another day so that we will be able to come! We are having our first meeting on Wednesday.......isn't that wonderful?!!