Holding on for Dear Life!

Last night, at our lifegroup, we started Francis Chan's "Crazy Love" small group study. We did chapters 1 and 2 last night. Our first thing to think about was how would we react if suddenly, we were standing before God's throne. The idea was that most of us don't really think of how absolutely magnificent God is. When we pray, do we really think about who we are praying to or do we just pray the same routine prayer. Do we really comprehend the holiness of God and how would we really act if we were before Him?
The second thing we left off with thinking about was what would we immediately regret not doing if we were before Him? If you suddenly found yourself before God, what would you be embarrassed that you didn't take time to do? We each answered this question and we are going to hold each other accountable for doing those things that we know we should be doing so that we don't have regrets should we suddenly be standing before Him. Some of the others in the group said they wanted to read their bible more, make time to pray more, not find ways to get out of going to church, try to pay more attention to the message at church. My answer was that I wanted to read and learn more about the bible, the history behind it. but most importantly, I know exactly what area I need to work on:
The area of fear. I found the video above by Francis Chan this morning and I had to laugh because that is SO me! I am holding on to that balance beam for dear life! I told everyone at group about my fear and anxiety issues since Mom died, about how to even come to group was a huge deal for me. That kind of fear does not come from God and to have that means that I am not trusting Him to be in control of my life. I am trying to control my own life by myself. And if I were before God, I am thinking He might just ask me, "Why didn't you just trust me? Why did you try to do it alone? Didn't you know I would be there for you? Didn't you know I already had it all planned out?" Every time I make the decision not to go somewhere or not to do something for fear of my anxiety, I am making the decision to not trust Him to take care of me. So, that is what I am going to work on!
Poor little Lily has had an upset tummy ever since that fever the other day, so I guess she caught some kind of stomach bug. I haven't taken her to the Dr. because she's eating, drinking, and acting normal, but I'm really hoping she'll be better soon.
I hope everyone is having a great weekend so far!!!