Love Liberates!

The other day on FB, one of my childhood friends (also named Kristin) posted that she had just watched the Maya Angelou interview on Oprah's new network and that she really recommended it. Well, I'm not a huge fan of Oprah at all, but I decided to look it up and set it to record. I'm so glad that I did!

I really knew nothing about Maya Angelou, other than she is a famous poet. I think I used to have her book, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings", although I don't remember actually reading it. Funny ironic thing about me is that I NEVER read any of the required books in school. I always hated literature and would just buy the cliffs notes and get an A.

So, I started watching this show yesterday and it just touched my heart on so many levels that I don't even know where to start or how to articulate it. It made me cry in a way that I haven't cried in such a long time. God used that program to speak to my heart....I have no doubt about that.

Maya told about how when she went back and forth between living with her Grandma and living with her mother. When she was 7, her mother's boyfriend raped her. She told only her 9 year old brother and he convinced her that it would be okay to tell the grown-ups. Well, the man spent a night in jail and then a few days later, he was killed. At that moment, she truly felt that her words had killed him. So, she quit speaking. For 6 years she did not utter a word. She went to live with her Grandma again during that time and everyone called her stupid and moron and ignorant. I find it just absolutely fascinating that this woman whose legacy will be her words, started out with words being her weakness. Isn't it just like God to redeem someone in that way? I just get chills thinking about it! Her weakness became her biggest strength. And if He did it for her, He will do it for us too.

She told of how her Grandma's friend would take her to the library during that time and tell her to read all of these books. It was during that time that she discovered how much she loved poetry. And one day, this friend shook her finger at her and told her something like there was no way she could love poetry if she didn't speak it with her words. So, she went underneath the floor of her house and she spoke. And she hasn't stopped speaking since then.

When she was mute, her Grandma used to brush her hair and tell her that one day, when her and the Good Lord got ready, she would speak and she was going to be a teacher and teach others all over this world. How true those words were. Maya says that words have power. Words get into every part of your life and they stick to you. And when it came time for her Grandma to be with the Lord, she told her that it was okay for her to go. And this is the part that brought me to tears.

Maya said, "Love liberates. It doesn't just hold. That's ego. Love liberates."

Why did that touch me so deeply? I thought of my own Mom. How hard I've been holding on to her. I still haven't been ready to let her go. I didn't want her to go. But, that's what love does. Maya said that if we love someone, we can love them here, we can love them if they are in China. I thought of my Dad. How much resentment I've been holding on to because he moved away. But, love liberates. It is selfish of me to want him to stay here. It's okay to let him go and be happy. If you love someone, you don't hold onto them and not let them live the life God planned for them. You set them free. I thought of my Jesus. He IS love and he loves ME. That kind of love should liberate me and set me free. And instead, I've been living in my own prison, fearful of living life. The enemy lies and he is the opposite of love. Sometimes keeping us in our own self-imposed prison is the only way he knows to stop us from receiving the love that will liberate us and set us free.

As I read over my explanation of how much those words touched me, my own words don't even come close to articulating the feelings I felt when I heard them. It was just one of those moments when you know that God has just spoken directly to you, because He needs you to hear. Even when I think about my own Mom, I think of love. And I know that she would not want her love to hold me captive. That's what us Moms do, right? We love our children in such a way that when the time comes, we know they will be okay to release into this world. I've been having such a hard time functioning without my Mom still here to love me. And I think maybe God was just trying to tell me to take that love and use it to fly. Take His love, accept it, and use it to soar.