Toxic Relationships

Happy Friday! It's been forever since I've done a post about what I learned at church! Mostly because we missed 3 Sundays in a row! But, we went back last Sunday and came in the middle of a series called "Toxic". Sunday's topic was toxic relationships.

First of all, the music Sunday was absolutely AWESOME! They had a local band play, called Sun Standing Still, and I just loved them!

Anything containing poisonous material capable of causing serious sickness or even death is toxic. The people in your life can have a destructive influence on your life. Paul warned, in 1 Corinthians 15:33, that "bad company corrupts good character." Another word for toxic is sin. It has the potential to cause great harm. You may pull a toxic person up, but most of the time they just bring you down. Paul said in 2 Timothy 2:16-17, to avoid Godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. He said their teaching will spread like gangrene. Then our pastor showed us some nasty pictures of what gangrene looks like. Ewww!! But, his point was that left untreated like gangrene, even the healthiest people can die spiritually.

There are 3 types of toxic company:

1. The chronically negative (someone who never has anything positive to say).
2. The controller (someone who is always trying to control you).
3. The tempter (someone who is materialistic, for example, and makes you feel you need more too).

In order to manage toxic relationships, you have to secure yourself first. If you aren't conscious and make sure your spiritual house is in order, you can't help anyone.

The first thing you have to do is set healthy boundaries. Jesus loved everyone unconditionally, but he didn't treat everyone equally. He would heal some and not others. He would pray to get strength and then go back to help others. He kept the pharisees at arms length. He established boundaries. In Matthew 16:23, he told Peter to "get behind me, Satan!" Peter was a stumbling block and was allowing the enemy to try and get Jesus off course. Sometimes you have to tell people, I won't let you talk to me or treat me that way. You might have to say, I'm not going there with you......I'm not going to participate. You can't be passive. You have to be active/proactive in setting boundaries. God will handle these boundaries when you establish them. Our pastor was using the example of high school students and who they hang out with. If you establish yourself as someone who does not party, most of the time people just will not invite you to the parties. You know the old saying, show me your friends and I will show you your future. It's important to establish boundaries and hang out with the right people.

Sometimes people will not respect the boundaries you set and you just have to cut off the toxic relationship. This does not apply to marriage though. God never advocates divorce, unless you face extreme abuse and it's for safety's sake. That is why Deuteronomy 7 says not to marry those who don't follow God, because that relationship is unequally yoked. We have to tread carefully though, because we are called to minister to others and we can avoid the relationships, but not people. We are called to influence others and as we become more spiritually fit, toxic relationships will decrease. Jesus said, if something causes you to sin, cut it off. Sometimes you have to know when to just run away and get out, instead of trying to stick around and talk or pray with them. We looked at the example in Genesis 39:12 of Joseph, when Potiphar's wife made advances toward him. He didn't stick around and try to talk it over......he ran out of that house!

We cannot hide, but we just need to get our spiritual lives in order. We are called to make a difference. We want to be so full of God that we are of good here on earth. We want to be spiritually strong so that we can have a greater impact. It's all about removing toxic elements so that we can be all that God called us to be!