Oh my goodness! I have not laughed this hard in a long time. I'm talking, tears streaming down my face laughter, and all from this book I'm reading! I don't think that's ever happened before!
I am currently reading "Confessions of a Pastor" by Craig Groeschel. He is the very successful Pastor that founded Lifechurch.tv. This book is all about learning to be ourselves and not what others say we should be. I'll come back and share what I've learned.....no doubt it was exactly what God wanted me to read right now because I have learned so much!
But, I just had to share with you the part that had me dying laughing. It is from the chapter where he talks about how he feels completely inadequate to be a Pastor. He is talking about what happened at the very first funeral he ever officiated. It should have been easy.....strong believer in her 90's, graveside service with a small group of people.
Well, the granddaughter wanted to sing "Amazing Grace" and he can't carry a tune. So, he begins to sing and even the granddaughter doesn't even join in! No one joined in. But, that's not the funny part! Here, read for yourself:
"Several lines into the song, a fly came buzzing around my face. I was focusing all my attention on my first ever - and last ever - solo, when the fly zoomed straight into my mouth.....Time froze, and I contemplated my options: Should I hock a loogey and spit out the fly as discretely as possible in front of a grieving family? Or do I swallow a fly in the middle of "Amazing Grace"? If anything in my life would ever qualify as a no-win situation, this was it."
"Time unfroze. I decided to suffer for Jesus. I swallowed."
"I couldn't imagine things getting any worse. Having just injested a live winged insect, I ended the song early. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Then things got worse.......I was headed down the home stretch - ready to end the funeral with the "ashes to ashes" thing. Mustering my most authoritative pastor's voice, I started "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust....." I hesitated. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.....What comes next? I couldn't remember."
"That's when my train of thought derailed and wrecked - big time. These people are sad, I reasoned. A little humor will do them good. The traditional funeral-finishing words that I had just spoken still echoed off the surrounding tombstones. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. To them, I added the New Revised Groeschel ending:
I hope this coffin doesn't rust.
Rare is the person who appreciates my sense of humor. And he wasn't at that funeral.
Did I mention that I feel completely inadequate?"
Oh my.....he had me dying at "I decided to suffer for Jesus." But, then the tears came with "I hope this coffin doesn't rust." That is THE funniest thing I've heard in a long time! I could barely type this out, I was laughing so hard! :D
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7 comments:
Oh man...that is funny! I was totally cracking up! I like laughing at things like that! Thanks for sharing!
That is hilarious! I'm sitting her giggling and Fern's like, "What's so funny?"
Hope you had a good night. I will email you in the moring since it's getting late already. We ended up going on a date night tonight while Yvonne watched the girls! Yay!
Oh My Gosh!! I was literally reading this and thinking "no way!" ... it's just too crazy!! hahaha
I love it! Thanks for sharing the laughs!!
OMGosh that is hysterical. Pastors do have some funny experiences...my dad being one I know. But my dad doesn't have this guys since of humor. LOL What a hoot.
Ha! That is really funny. Poor guy, I am not sure I would have been able to swallow a fly!! Could you imagine hearing a Pastor say that at a funeral?! I think I would be like, WHAAT?!!
Oh my gosh, the poor guy!! That is so funny though! Had me laughing!!
That is so funny! He always has the funniest stories!!
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