Making Jesus a Part of Every Moment

Today, I am just amazed at my life. If you have been following me while I walk this journey, you know that God has been so present and has been doing so many amazing things in my life. It was several months ago that an innocent conversation with a friend really got me to thinking about what I believed and about who I wanted to be.

I was talking with my friend about who gets to go to Heaven. I had always been taught that you have to accept Jesus as your savior to go to Heaven. I was saved, had been baptised, and I knew I was going to Heaven. I had always had a relationship with the Lord, my faith was strong, so I never really thought about the "why". She said she just couldn't believe that a person who is a good person, takes care of people, volunteers, etc. would be sent to Hell. At the time, I just did not have the answers for her.

I got off the phone with her that night, and I just really began to think about our conversation. I always prayed daily, and I knew that I had a good relationship with the Lord. But, I told him that I didn't understand and I asked Him to please help me understand. I asked Him to please make Himself known to me, to let me know that it was really Him that I was talking to, that He really did hear me. I certainly believed it was Him, I knew I would absolutely die if I ever found out otherwise, but I just couldn't feel Him. I had been praying for 4 years for Him to help me out of my deep depression after losing my Mom, and I couldn't feel Him there.

I guess I was talking the talk, but not really walking the walk. I thought about the things I had prayed for all those years, since I was a little girl. I realized that they were all selfish things. Things about how God could help make MY life better, things God could do for ME. But, I wasn't even trying to do anything for Him. When I started to pray that He would open my eyes and help me see, I even told Him that He might have to slap me over the head with some things, because sometimes I just don't listen! Well, let me tell you, He has been doing just that! He has sent so many people to me, and each one has had an amazing role in helping me to learn. It's like every time I ask Him a question, He sends something or someone in my path to help me understand the answers.

My life began to change before my very eyes. My anxiety disappeared. Sure, it tries to creep back up every now and then, but I would say that I am 99% cured. My desires changed. I began listening to Christian music and now I just can't get enough of it! I had no idea that such great artists even existed and their music speaks right to my heart. It's like a whole new world opened up to me that I had no idea about! (Speaking of, I found the Gospel Music Channel on TV a few days ago and it is AWESOME!) Suddenly, all of these wonderful bloggers started reaching out to me. Each one of them, holding a specific purpose for helping me to be closer to the Lord and to understand. There were even many "real life" people that God sent to me to help me make that next step....people that I didn't even really know, but each serving His purpose as they reached out to me. He even helped me find specific books that would help answer the questions that I had.

When I prayed, I changed the way I prayed. Instead of telling God all that I wanted Him to do to make my life better, I started to pray for all of the people that I knew who really needed Him. I started asking Him to use me in whatever ways He could to bring others to Him. Sometimes I think, who am I to tell others about the Lord? My education as far as the Bible is concerned is pretty much at a child's level, but then I read something on a church website that made perfect sense to me:

God doesn't call the equipped, He equips those that He calls.

So, now I'm asking God to please lead me to the right church. I don't want to go to church to be sociable, or to have a reason to get dressed up, or to see what so-in-so has been up to. I want to be led to the right church where I can best serve Him. I want my girls to learn about Jesus and accept Him into their hearts. I want my husband to come to know Him. I see and hear about so many people who are very active in their churches, and they are happy because their church serves a purpose for them, but what are they doing to reach beyond those comfortable walls of their church to reach people like me? I hope that doesn't sound too harsh, but the churches I have been visiting are those that have reached out to me. I want to be that person one day. I want to be able to reach out to others and be an example of a strong, Christian woman. Not because I am perfect, not because I do everything right, not because I am better than anyone else, but because I want others to know what I now know.......

we are not meant to live life alone, without Jesus. Life is not meant to be lived without making Jesus a part of every single moment.