Freedom

Have you ever been without freedom? Have you ever felt like a prisoner in your own home, or maybe just in a certain situation? Have you ever wanted to do something, but just couldn't get up the courage to do it because certain things just kept holding you back?

Well, that's how I've felt for the past four years. After my mom died, I had one little experience of getting sick while driving and that literally affected me for four years. I went from a girl who loved to drive because it was my alone time to think and sing at the top of my lungs (LOL) to a girl who could barely drive to the store because the fear of getting sick again caused me to panic. I know that this was just a manifestation of my grief, but it changed my life in a horrible way. I guess I became afraid of everything. I became afraid that if I lived again, something bad would happen to knock me back down and remind me that I have absolutely no control over most things in my life. I am a girl who likes control. I like order. I like to plan things and be organized. I like things to work out as I expect. When my Mom died, I realized that sometimes horrible things happen that we don't expect and that we don't like and there is nothing we can do to change them.

That's where faith comes in! Kelly posted a link to a t-shirt company on her blog the other day called Share the Word apparel, and they had a t-shirt that was so perfect for me!

On the front it said "Free" and on the back it said "When Faith Overcomes Fear"

I couldn't have said it better myself!!! I have prayed and prayed for all of these years, but it wasn't until I truly believed that the Lord could and would deliver me from my fears, that I began to get better. It has only been the past week or so that I can say I have been feeling better. I have posted many different posts about my awesome past couple of weeks that I've been having. Each time I decide to leave and go do something, instead of preparing myself to deal with my panic, I tell myself that I have no panic. Do you see how that works? I believe and remind myself that I am a child of the most high God, that I have prayer warriors all over praying for me, and that I have FAITH that my fears will not overcome me and that I will live again! I cannot tell you how much this has changed my life....how much it will change my kids' lives!

I'm not sure where I'm going with my post today. I guess I just wanted to be a testimony to the power of what God can do for you in your life if you have faith in Him. Nothing bad had ever really happened in my entire life until I lost my Mom. As bad as that was for me to handle, and still is, I can honestly say that it was necessary for me to truly realize that I am nothing without Him, that I cannot survive without Him. It is so awesome to be at my lowest point in my life and to be lifted up by Him and to know that there is absolutely no other explanation for the turning around of my life other than that it is because of HIM. When I finally realized that everything that happens is part of His perfect plan, and had faith that no matter what happens He will always be there to carry me, then I became free! I no longer have to live in fear of what might happen, because I know that His way is always better than anything that I could possibly come up with on my own.

It is so wonderful to make plans to do fun things with my girls without feeling that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. The enemy knew that as long as he could keep me in fear, that he could keep me from living my life and becoming closer to the Lord. He could keep me in my house, away from other believers, and afraid to do the simplest things. What he did not count on was me finding the blogging world while I sat in fear inside the safety of my house!! That truly was the turning point. Never forget that you never know who you might encourage or inspire as you type away! I truly believe the Lord is using this blogging community of strong, Christian women and we have the power to change the lives of many!! My sweet blog friends out there truly have changed my life because they have been His faithful servants. They have encouraged me, believed in me, inspired me, and lifted me up in His name.

I am free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!