A Leap of Faith

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They told me to watch a video and that would help me be prepared. Like a video was going to help me now! My future husband told me he would wait for me until I was done. It was time to go. I could tell the others were frightened too, but no one wanted to say anything. We all wanted to be brave. So, it was time to go. The whole time I was thinking, well if I can just make it through this part, then hopefully I'll be okay. The sounds of this old, creaky beast weren't the most reassuring. Every few seconds, it would sputter. It sounded as though any minute now, it would just die. The number 12,000 kept running through my mind. 12,000.....12,000....12,000!! Well, there certainly was no turning back now. It was time and there was no backing out. Some people there had done this before. They didn't seem afraid. They didn't look worried. They were even laughing! Besides, I had this nice man who was going to do this with me. He knew what he was doing. He was a professional. He wasn't going to let anything happen to me, right? So, we're standing at the edge. The point of no return. The point where you see your whole entire life flash before your eyes, but it's too late to change your mind.............

And then suddenly I get it. I see it. It's never been more clear to me. It's BEAUTIFUL! It's MAGNIFICENT! There is no sense of fear. No sense that what I'm doing is unnatural. I feel the wind rushing toward my face and all around me. It's a feeling that I've never felt before. It's so exciting that I want to scream for joy, but I don't want to use the energy on anything but enjoying the moment. At that moment, nothing else matters. It's all happening so fast...........

Then, suddenly it slows down. Floating in time. Just like before, only in slow motion. I can see for miles and miles..........God's creation. God's beautiful and wonderous creation. It's so overwhelming that I almost want to cry tears of joy. I don't want it to end. I want to stay here forever and ever and take it all in. The amazing view. The hot, warm sun. At that moment, nothing else matters. It is a beautiful dance and I am a part of it. I realize that if this is the last thing I ever see, that is okay with me................

Then it was time to practice what we learned in the video. What? I was actually supposed to watch that thing??!! Here we go. I have to brace myself. It's getting closer. Aghhhhh!!!!!! I suddenly realize what I just did. The fear comes back just a little, but I know this nice man will take care of me. He knows what he's doing..........

We hit the ground pretty hard. It was actually kind of unexpected. The reality of what I had just done was very apparent at that moment. Before, I had felt weightless. There was no sense of falling. No fear. My feet fell out from under me and the nice man who was helping me fell on top of me. He helped me up and we started laughing! Woo hoo!!!!!! That was AWESOME!!!!!! I couldn't stop smiling. I couldn't stop thanking him for the absolutely awesome, breath-taking, awe-inspiring adventure! It was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced.

I was so glad that I didn't let the fear talk me out of it. When my friends had suggested it, I thought they were crazy! But, they insisted. We had to go skydiving! I tried to get my future husband to do it with me. He said no way was he jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. Well, let me tell you, that airplane was anything but perfectly good. It's a good thing we all had parachutes on, because I thought for sure that thing was going to die trying to make it up to the sky!

I didn't even tell my Mom what I had planned to do. I knew she would be too worried. So, I waited until after I had done it to tell her. That probably wasn't the best idea, because I suppose it was possible that something could've happened to me up there! When I told her, she couldn't believe it! She called my Aunt Barbara on the phone and told her that she wouldn't believe what I had just done! Her and my Mom were laughing on the phone, talking about how they didn't know everything about me like they thought they had. My Mom looks at me all joking and says, "Your Aunt Barbara wants to know if you have a tattoo too!" She said it in that sarcastic voice that was absolutely certain that I wasn't that wild. After all, she knew her own daughter!

Just then, I smiled, turned around, lifted up my shirt and showed my Mom the tiny, colorful butterfly on my back. The look on her face was priceless! Of course, it didn't change anything. We were still as close as we had always been. It was just the beginning of my independence. It was a time when I did not let fear make my decisions for me. I was learning who I wanted to be and I wasn't afraid to experience new things, even if they were a little scary. That was only about 10 years ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago! Sometimes I wish I could still be that fearless young adult that I used to be! I will try to remember this moment when my own girls do wild, reckless, crazy things when they're older. They won't do those kinds of things, will they? With three girls, I'm certain to be saying this prayer A LOT in the years to come:

"Lord, help me!"